The Lazy Desi’s 25-year archive of chaos, dreams, kids, ADHD, gaming, and everything life swallowed too early.
I spent three nights building full websites from scratch.
Then I woke up today and couldn’t even open my laptop.
It’s like my brain switches off when it wants to ruin my life.
People say:
“You’re so smart! Imagine what you could be!”
Yeah.
Imagine.
Because imagining is easier than becoming.
For the third time this year, a doctor asked:
“Are you studying medicine?”
Sir, I’m literally in 10th grade, but thank you.
Thank you for seeing the doctor in me before the world tries to hide her.
I can explain symptoms better than most adults.
I ask questions medical students supposedly ask.
I understand anatomy diagrams without crying.
I point out medical issues even the doctors are missing.
I literally spew medical jargon all day.
Maybe I’m meant for this field.
Maybe it’s in my blood.
Maybe destiny laughs when she sees how many obstacles stand between me and that white coat.
Definitely that last one…sigh.
I swear I learned critical thinking from PlayStation.
Jak & Daxter taught me strategy.
Tekken taught me reflexes.
Crash Bandicoot taught me anger management (barely).
And every Super Mario Bro’s loading screen taught me patience. Ohhh soooo much patience.
Gaming isn’t a hobby.
It’s my sanctuary.
The place where my brain makes complete sense.
The world where I wasn’t “weird” or “distracted” — I was capable.
Tell me how I always feel more myself in Donkey Kong Country’s digital universe than in my real one. Dear lord to that!
Can you have both?
Things I realized were ADHD:
Starting 12 hobbies. Finishing none.
Cleaning my room by emptying every drawer onto the floor.
Reading five books at once.
Studying only the chapters I find interesting.
Remembering obscure medical facts but forgetting my own math homework till the very last minute.
Having Olympic-level emotional reactions.
Things I KNOW are my ADD:
beautiful planners
color-coded notebooks
aesthetic containers
…but none of it lasts longer than 3 weeks.
Can laser-focus like a genius when the interest hits:
reading
graphic design
medical facts
makeup
gaming
niche hobbies
essays
writing
coding
skincare
YouTube Makeup Tutorials
But can’t focus at all on “boring” tasks like:
chores
homework
organization
emails
PLUS:
procrastinating to the skies
submitting last minute assignments finished in mere minutes assigned months ago…and getting the top grade. Every. Single. Time.
Everyone thinks I’m just lazy — but I’m actually just wired differently.
…Literally. Every. ADD+ADHD. Girl. Ever.
“Why are you like this?” — every adult ever.
If ADHD and ADD had a combined flag, I’d be waving it.
I taught myself HTML today.
Actual full pages.
Clickable menus.
Scrolling text (don’t judge, it was cool).
Frames.
Tables.
Guestbook scripts.
A fake “About Me” section that looked like it belonged on a Spice Girls fan site.
Math?
I barely scraped that A- after like a thousand pages of extra credit and missing literally every single school day last semester.
Computers?
My brain turned into a firework. Haven’t slept in two days.
GRAPHIC DESIGN COMPANIES here I come!
Maybe you don’t need school to be brilliant.
Maybe you just need curiosity and a really good dial-up connection.
I’m 15 and reading a book meant for second-year med students.
Why?
Because it’s fascinating.
Because the human body is a complete mystery. But it’s MY mystery.
Because I love knowing things I’m not supposed to know yet.
Because reading is my only drug.
Today my doctor asked me if I was planning to become one.
I smiled.
The answer is yes.
The answer is always yes.
The answer will probably stay “yes” even if life doesn’t let me.
Everyone thinks I’m smart.
Like too smart.
Like “Are your parents scientists?” smart.
Like “Did you skip a grade?” smart.
The truth?
I’m a genius stuck in a brain that behaves like a browser with nineteen illegal pop-ups.
I grasp concepts faster than teachers can teach them…
…but forget assignments faster than they can hand them out.
I could probably diagnose a rare medical condition at 15
but I can’t remember to bring my own notebook to class.
I think this is what they call potential.
Or a curse.
I’m still deciding.
UnderTheRock Diaries 