The Lazy Desi’s 25-year archive of chaos, dreams, kids, ADHD, gaming, and everything life swallowed too early.
Dark (Damian DAHRK) Dormammu Lord of the Dark Dimension level brown lipliner? Check.
Frosty gloss? Check.
Eyeshadow that looks like it came straight out of the Marvels “The Savage She-Hulk 1979” cover (but fashion eh…)? Check.
Still late to everything? Check.
At least I LOOK extremely punctual.
Spent the day switching between:
Exhaustingly being the popular girl everyone confides in then nonstop gaming for the past 4 hours straight, And being the introvert hiding under my blanket with two chunky medical textbooks my RN mom borrowed for me from a friend at work.
Duality?
I invented this ish.
I’m a paradox in low-rise jeans.
I LIVE FOR the quiet but the minute I’m around strangers why am I suddenly the loudest one there. Even louder around the people I trust, and cynically funny in my own head. It exhausts me to no end…but I don’t think I can stop.
ADHD/ADD girls just come with multiple settings and no manual.
…Or brakes, a steering wheel and very limited fuel gauges to boot…sigh
How come:
other girls know routines
other girls know more than just random useless stuff like Photoshop, HTML, MySQL, Makeup, Gaming and how to administer an IV or properly (and hygienically) use a epipen in case of anaphylactic shock. (Spoiler: I have zero allergies)
other girls know how to plan. PERIOD.
other girls finish homework well before its due (not the whole weeks worth in a hyperfocus induced all-nighter last minute style which, in-turn the teach concludes are each either an absolute work of college level art, or straight ILLEGAL having no clue how little personal effort it took on my part and how much heavy duty procrastination went into it lady!
other girls remember deadlines
other girls don’t crash and burn (sleep non-stop for three whole nights) after finishing all of last months assignments last minute for Monday after having asked for (and been approved for) extra time just the day before.
other girls don’t feel like aliens in their own bodies
other girls don’t have to change personalities like outfits just to make it through the day
other girls don’t have to bury the best parts of them just to make it make sense
Why does everything feel natural for them…
and like trial-and-error survival for me?
Why am I always so tired?
Am I broken?
Or just… different?
I was supposed to organize my closet.
Instead…
I redesigned an entire website, corrected someone’s biology homework, wrote three future-blog intros, and alphabetized my lip glosses.
My closet?
Still a crime scene.
Doctor today asked if I’m “in med school already.”
Sir, I’m 17.
I’m just chronically curious and unfortunately well-read.
If you quiz me on cranial nerves right now, I will win.
But also I haven’t folded my laundry since 1990.
Desi aunties today:
“You’re so mature for your age!”
Also desi aunties today:
“You’re still a baby! Badtameez!!”
Me:
“So… am I allowed to have opinions or do I wait till my warranty expires?”
Their faces: ❗🥭❗
I opened Photoshop “just for five minutes.”
Six hours later:
27 layers
30 Brushes and 2 full Brush sets
7 New Font Styles
Two awesome banner designs
A magical glowy-text signature
One half-finished website homepage
Three forgotten chores
A now cold cup of Dood Patti (that’s chai sans the agua for you destitute souls)
My mother yelling
And absolutely no regret
My brain LOVES making things.
Too bad this 2007 society doesn’t think “Home-based Photoshop Wizard” is a valid career path. Oh the hypocrisy!
I cleaned my room today and found:
4 half-dissected highlighters (Dude, why though??!!?)
1 biology book open to “endocrine system”
1 plate of fries fossilized into a museum artifact
14 sticky notes with half-thoughts and the realization that I might have invented ADHD before the doctors did.
Dad thinks I’m “studious but messy.”
I think I’m “chaotically brilliant with poor housekeeping skills.”
Both can coexist.
When you’re a fast learner AND an inconsistent performer, teachers assume one thing:
You cheated.
No, ma’am.
I just understood the entire chapter in 12 minutes.
And then forgot to do the homework because I was too busy researching the history of anesthesia. I’ll be needing that extension BTW.
I’m not unreliable.
I’m just misaligned with this world darling!
UnderTheRock Diaries 