Traveling as a Couple Is an Anthropological Expedition

Traveling alone was easy:

No commentary, no interruptions, no one asking,

“Why is this person staring at us?”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to go that way.”

“Did you just argue with the taxi driver in Urdu and win?”

Traveling as a pair in Pakistan meant suddenly understanding how different the world treats two people vs one.

Hotel staff soften.

Shopkeepers smile like they love love.

Old women at airports give you the “MashAllah beta, stay happy” blessing.

Random men offer unsolicited advice about marriage longevity like they’re hot take influencers.

It’s hilarious, bizarre, mildly exhausting, and weirdly sweet.

Traveling alone felt like a mission.

Traveling as a couple feels like being part of a folklore tale — everyone’s invested.

Identity in a Pressure Cooker

Being a South Asian wife comes with an unspoken job description:

hold everything together.

Funny thing — I couldn’t even hold myself together.

I shifted personalities like outfits:

desi-wife version, western fashionista version, hidden-gifted-girl version, burned-out-student version.

I was all of them and none of them.

Marriage didn’t simplify my identity.

It multiplied it.

But he kept saying,

“You don’t have to pick just one.”

And that…worked.

South Asia Is a Universe With Its Own Gravity

Moving abroad didn’t just shift the landscape around me — it shifted me.

Every region has a pulse, but South Asia?

This place has a heartbeat that thuds through the soles of your feet. The chaos, the unspoken rules, the eye-contact etiquette, the aunties who can scan your entire life trajectory faster than TSA scans a suitcase… it’s all so surreal.

As a teen traveling alone, I floated above it, a feather, barely registering the machinery of society.

Now as an adult, I feel the weight of the expectations, the scrutiny, the cultural choreography I’m expected to dance with flawless precision.

And yet—

Part of me still loves that unmistakable voltage in the air.

That sense of being wrapped in a tapestry older than memory.

That whisper of home, even when it overwhelms me.

…the Macaroni and cheese

The Quiet Kind of Husband Love

There’s a love that shouts.

And then there’s the love that waits quietly at the edges of your burnout.

He’d sit by me while I doom-scroll random medical papers, gaming walkthroughs, and baking science at 3 AM.

No criticism. No commentary. Just presence.

Once I apologized for being so tired all the time.

He smiled and said,

“You’re brilliant. Your mind moves too fast. I’ll wait wherever you land.”

It was the first time I realized:

Being loved gently is a type of miracle.

Becoming a Wife Without Becoming an Adult”

The strangest thing about getting married young:

Everyone assumes you become a wife and become an adult at the same time.

I became a wife.

The adult part lagged behind… buffering… crashing… restarting.

My executive functioning stayed in childhood while my responsibilities jumped ten levels up.

But he never demands that I “be more.”

He never holds a ruler to my chaos.

He simply… adapts.

I never cook. I do not clean. He shooed away expectations like houseflies.

I didn’t grow up that year.

But his patience did give me room to finally try.

The First Week of Marriage: Laundry & Existential Crises (or Rices…Meh)

I cried over laundry. (Folded and put away for me that no one expected me to do even though I’m married now)

And rice. (That I didn’t even cook but I thought I should have!)

And the idea of being responsible for anything.

It wasn’t sadness — it was overwhelm.

My ADHD fog was thick enough to cut with a kitchen knife.

He’d take things from my hands and say,

“Sit. I’ve got it.”

A newlywed bride sitting on the kitchen floor googling “how to be a functioning adult” was not the aesthetic I imagined.

But there I was.

Some girls have honeymoon phases.

I had meltdown phases.

But he never flinched.

The Wedding That Arrived Before I Did (2008)

I used to think adulthood would knock politely before entering.

Instead, it barged in wearing gaudy gold jewelry and carrying a wedding date.

We married suddenly.

YEARS earlier than planned.

Unforeseen issues, family storms, and the kind of cultural pressure that pulls time forward by force.

And yet…

He stood there — calm, steady, warm — almost too patient for someone marrying a girl whose brain was permanently buffering.

He looked at me like I was a whole galaxy in the middle of an eclipse.

Sometimes destiny isn’t poetic. Sometimes it’s chaotic, rushed, and confusing.

But that day?

Even with everything swirling — the exhaustion, the fear, the ADHD static — I finally felt chosen. Not forced upon everyone like an unfortunate disappointment…or an imperfect daughter.

Standing at the Edge of Adulthood With a Genius Brain and Tired Bones

I can feel adulthood pressing against the door like a storm.

Marriage whispers from the horizon. (Not till 2014 ya’ll, talked to my dad and everything)

Responsibility calls my name.

Life is shifting.

But inside me, there is still a girl who wants to:

design websites at 3 a.m.

diagnose imaginary patients

read entire physiology chapters for fun

debate X-Men continuity

dream of impossible careers

hide under the covers because the world is too loud

I am a woman made of contradictions.

A phoenix without fire.

A genius without direction.

A dreamer who keeps tripping on reality. Ohhh, the trippin’ is real.

But I’m still here.

Still brilliant.

Still burning — softly.

Would also like my Blackberry PalmwebOS to stay charged longer than it takes to spell the word Rhododendron.

Sigh. A girl can dream can’t she…

Marvel Taught Me Coping Skills No Self-Help Book Ever Did

When life overwhelms me, I retreat into storylines where ordinary people become extraordinary despite trauma.

Sometimes, I wish Charles Xavier would roll into my life and tell me my brain is not broken — just differently wired.

A mutation.

An evolution.

A strength.

Storm taught me resilience.

Wolverine taught me endurance.

Rogue taught me emotional boundaries.

Jean taught me that overwhelming power doesn’t make you monstrous — being misunderstood does.

Stories save us in ways therapists never fully can.